Grazhir :: Crossover :: FeS2: Add-Ons :: 09

09 Naruto



“This could be messy, but you don’t seem to mind.” — Alanis Morisette, Hands Clean

Hidan was laughing; the sound sang of the glory in the pain shared between himself and his victim. Behind the victim was a shadowy figure that only Hidan could see, hovering several inches off the ground, a sign to him that his god was watching as the sacrifice was being driven mad by the pain and the knowledge that their life was soon to end.

He stabbed a blade into his kidney and watched as his victim—a Sand nin—dropped to the ground in agony, then laughed again when finally, he drove the weapon through his heart and watched as the enemy nin died. Hidan removed the blade and exalted in the rush of power and healing.

And then it all went funny. Through half-lidded eyes he saw a figure fade into view next to his god’s avatar. The figure reached over and grabbed the avatar by the neck, picked it up, and shook it like a misbehaving animal. “What the hell?” he shouted. “What are you doing to Jashin-sama?”

The figure stopped shaking the avatar and looked at him instead. Hidan jolted in place, arrested and actually intimidated by the sheer killing intent radiating from those glowing green eyes.

Yuki snorted and shook the Shinigami again, giggling when its neck snapped, though it healed in a split second. “Jashin-sama? No, no, this thing is not your god, Hidan.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“This”—he shook the Shinigami again—“is a minion. One of Death’s minions. A Shinigami, though that term is misleading. He is no more Jashin than you are a five year old girl. This one’s been very, very naughty, leading you on like this, playing the part of your god. Shinigami are funny that way. They get bored when their entire job consists of ushering the souls of the dead to the afterlife.”

He indicated the dead nin with his free hand and ordered, “Take care of that one’s soul. We’ll speak later, but if I catch you playing the mortals again for your amusement I’ll obliterate you.” He dropped the Shinigami and watched as it hastened to do his bidding. As soon as it was gone he turned his attention back to Hidan, slowly walking closer.

“Weird things can happen when mortals start toying with Death and immortality,” he said, reaching up to gesture casually. Hidan was frozen in place, able only to move his head. It might not make him entirely harmless, but not being able to do any kind of hand seals or attack physically would certainly put him off his game.

“What the fuck?”

A brow went up. “You really like to swear, don’t you. Anyway. If anyone around here could be called Jashin it would be me, cupcake, and I don’t even know if you could call me evil. There’s some debate on that, actually. The thing is—” He broke off when Hidan started swearing again, long enough to silence him temporarily. “The thing is, you’ve managed to pervert the natural order with the help of that Shinigami. And, while I don’t give a damn that you love to kill, I do care when that means you slaughter innocent people simply because you can. Have any of the people you’ve killed actually done anything to you? Or did you kill them because they were handy?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Hidan shouted. “It’s my right to kill whoever I fucking want!”

“Because you’re strong?” he asked.

“Because I can! Because Jashin-sama rewards me for it! Because I like it!”

Yuki rolled his eyes at such simpleminded statements. Hidan seemed to be at a Ron level of intelligence, though for the sake of fairness he had to admit the fellow knew how to fight, even if he could only barely strategize his way out of a wet paper bag. “So by that reasoning I could kill you right now because I can and I’d like it.”

Hidan scoffed. “Jashin-sama would protect me, you fool. And I’m immortal. You can’t kill me.”

Yuki grinned. “Really now.” ‘Derek, will you please remove the link between Hidan and that stupid reaper?’


A few second later Hidan started screaming in pain, though it all came out a little oddly due to him not being able to inhale strongly enough to really get the proper volume. “What—what the hell did you do?” he gasped.

“Took away your immortality, little human,” Yuki said cheerfully. “Next time you get into a real fight, well, I’d be a lot more cautious. Because if you aren’t, you’ll be dead. And don’t be thinking your amusing little religious practices will work now. Try, if you like, but don’t expect to ‘share pain’ and end up healed when your prey is dead, because you’ll die, too.”

Hidan went off on a disbelieving rant while Harry idly inspected his fingernails.

“That’s wonderful,” he said when Hidan finally wound down. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there are a few more people I need to visit in the Elemental Countries, people who’ve done some really bad shit when it comes to messing with Death.”

He Cloaked himself and shifted to the next location on his mental list. Some sick fuck named Orochimaru was next, and after that, some fellow by the name of Kakuzu. Oh, and some guy named Danzo.

As for Hidan? He was dead within days, having tried to use Curse Technique: Death Controlling Possessed Blood.